Sandra Sabattini
Sandra Sabattini was born on 19 August 1961 in Riccione Hospital and lived in Misano Adriatico with her parents, Giuseppe and Agnese Bonin, and her brother Raffaele. Her family was deeply Christian and gave her a sound moral and Christian education both in words and by their example of life. At the age of three she went to live in the presbytery of San Girolamo parish, where her uncle Giuseppe, her mother's brother, was the parish priest. The family and parish environment opened her heart to the reception of the highest values of faith and life. On 3 May 1970 she made her First Communion and on 16 April 1972 she received the sacrament of Confirmation. Sandra was a lively and intelligent child. She started to write a diary, at the early age of 10, with the following words, 'A life lived without God is a pastime, either boring or entertaining, with which one plays while waiting for death.' She was full of life and joy, open to dialogue with her family and generous in helping with housework. During adolescence, she solved all her problems by making a basic decision, which does not allow for any uncertainty: 'What do I want from life? Or rather, what do You want from my life? For now I can only say, I choose You. I think that my choice is getting stronger with time. Now the time has come for me to accept Christ (the whole of Christ) and radically change myself.' She was part of her parish group and participated in all its activities. She was already demonstrating a strong maturity of judgement and faith: she often retired into the crypt of the church, in adoration. At the age of 12 she had a chance meeting with Father Oreste Benzi, the founder of the Community of Pope John XXIII, who was dedicated to the poor and least in society. This meeting opened her heart to a new dimension and marked the path of her vocation and spirituality: following the poor and servant Jesus by sharing the life of the least. She participated in a formation course for adolescents in the Community and had her real first contact with people with disabilities. When she went back home she firmly declared, 'I will never leave these people.' You cannot go to the poor if you are not spiritually poor. In this way, Sandra started an ascetic path, digging into herself in order to remove faults and limits. 'Lord, I feel that you are giving me an hand to get close to you; you give me strength to make a step forward. I would like to accept you, but I need first to defeat myself, my pride and falsehood. I am not humble and I do not want to recognise it. I let myself be conditioned by others and I am afraid of what they might think of me. I am inconsistent. I want to revolutionise the world and then I let myself be submitted to it. God, can you accept me the way I am, so full of limits, fears and hopes?' During high school - she took the diploma at the liceo scientifico in Rimini - she regularly visited some people in need in their homes and helped sensitise her parish community to have greater attention for people with disabilities. She involved others in what she was doing. At university she chose to study medicine, after having verified this was what the Lord wanted for her, in order to follow Him and share the life of the least. 'Today, Sunday, I went to a party for people affected by spasticity. Only after having done that I feel happy and serene and I feel inside the peace I truly hope to achieve.' She dedicated all her free time to the young guests of two therapeutic communities. Even her summer holidays were spent that way. In 1982 and 1983 she was responsible for the therapeutic communities of Igea Marina and Trarivi and spent the summer there, sharing the life and work of recovering drug addicts. They felt loved in a pure and unconditional way and, little by little, rediscovered the meaning of their lives. Sandra's love for the Lord was reflected onto all those who came into contact with her: she radiated a joy which led to Jesus. 'Thank you Lord for this world, this life, these people and joy. Thank you for this new spring which is starting. Today, if I could, I'd get a pair of shoes and a rucksack and travel round the world. Thank you Lord. Thank you because you exist, because you are next to me, because you put wonderful people around me. Thank you because I love You, because I know that You love me, because I see You in the people around me... in all people. Thank you Lord.' Her commitment, participation and service in the Community increased day after day. She met new young people every day. Notwithstanding this great amount of work, she did not neglect her studies and received high marks in every exam. The tie with her family was strong and did not limit her vocational commitment. She was very close to her father Giuseppe, mother Agnese and brother Raffaele: she regarded her family as a great gift from the Lord. The poor were in Sandra's heart. She was moved by the beatitude, 'Blessed are the poor, the kingdom of Heaven is theirs'. This love for the poor was deeply rooted in faith 'Poverty is love for the poor Jesus', and she felt that 'taking the vow of obedience is not sufficient to be truly poor. 'When the poor knocked at her door, Sandra was not content with the offerings given by her family and she ran after them and gave them what she could. She freely chose to live as the marginalised and poor were forced to live. She did not like to buy new clothes but, rather, she altered old clothes which she found at home. Once she swapped her new jumper with a drug addict's old waistcoat. With sensitivity and a smile, she questioned every unnecessary expense of her family. When the members of her family, worried about her health, tried to restrain her devotion to others, Sandra used to listen in silence and then continue to run around and sacrifice herself as never before. Love for the poor was for her irresistible strife: she would not allow herself to stop. She was always afraid that she was bothering other people, she never asked for anything, but she instead preferred to sacrifice herself. She had strong communication abilities and was therefore invited to hold conferences or lead meetings. However, more than with words, she convinced people with her enthusiasm and example of life. She loved to live her relationship with God in silence and used to wake up early in the morning and spend time in meditation, in the dark, in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Every first day of the year, from one to two o'clock in the night, she used to stay in front of Jesus in contemplation. She loved to pray and meditate sitting down on the floor, as a sign of humility and poverty. 'The truth is that we need to learn, in faith, to wait for God and this, as an attitude of the soul, requires a big effort. This attitude of waiting, making no plans, scanning the sky and being in silence is the most interesting of our tasks. The hour of our call will come, but we would be blind if in that hour we think that we are the cause of such wonders. Instead, the wonder is that God acts through us, who are so miserable and poor. This is the synthesis of contemplation and action, it is the point of contact between earth and sky, between man and God.' She lived out her contemplation intensively, not only through prayer but also in action. She understood that contemplation and action are two sides of the same unconditional love for Jesus. Therefore, she had a strong inner unity: she expressed in every area of life what she lived out with God in her inner self. She did this with such simplicity as for it to pass unnoticed and with such intensity to leave a mark. She loved to contemplate creation, which constantly amazed her. She felt she was penetrating the mystery of infinity when she contemplated the sea, either stormy or calm, or the high peaks of the mountains. Her inner work aimed at conforming her life more and more to the poor and servant Jesus. Her life was made ever brighter by prayer, meditation on the word of God, devotion to Mary through the daily rosary and her silent and intense devotion to people. 'I do not live as a poor person, with all that this implies: humility, availability and sincere love for everything and everybody. I say that I do not want to be controlled by 'things', and this is true. I am in fact controlled only by myself and my instincts (either good or bad). I am closing up more and more inside myself, even though apparently I am more open than before. Lord, help me to truly put into practice, every moment of the day, this new wish to live with you and consequently with the others.' In her relationship with other people she was always looking for transparency and purity. 'Help me to be sincere and pure of heart with my brothers who share their life here with me. I must be pure inside or I run the risk of boycotting choices which have already been made. Being pure means that I always have to remember that I do the things I do for other people and therefore for You, and not because through them I can increase the depth of my vanity and pride.' In the Community she met a young man, Guido, who shared the same ideals and the same work for the least. A reciprocal interest developed between them. She wrote in her diary, 'that feeling is becoming more and more certain and reassuring. Thank you, Lord.' They walked the same path as a couple, but not according the criteria of the world. They were dreaming of going to Africa with the Community of Pope John XXIII to devote themselves to the least of the least. 'I would like to go to Africa as a missionary. There are still many people who, like me, need your faith and love, Lord.' Her writings (diaries and notes) give us a glimpse of her soul, both profound and simple, rational and contemplative, and immersed in profound faith, leaving her free to express herself as a daughter towards God, who she loved as Father. On her birthday, 19 August 1982, she wrote in her diary, 'May my hours be a continuous praise to you. But how can I truly thank you if the voice with which I sing of You is not mine, but is a gift from you? As are my eyes, with which I am astonished by everything, and all my person, with which I try to raise myself towards you? Lord, I can do nothing but view the years of life you've given me till now as a miracle. Thank you, because, notwithstanding my limits, you have had the patience to stay close to me. Help me to trust you and not always to demand complete understanding of what you ask me, because this is my pride: when I want to measure you with my thoughts.' On 29 April 1984 there was a meeting of the Community of Pope John XXIII in Igea Marina. Sandra went there with Guido and another young person. She got out of the car and, while she was waiting to cross the road, she was run over by a reckless driver travelling in the opposite direction. Sandra received a critical head injury was and taken to the emergency department of San Orsola Hospital in Bologna. She died there, on 2 May 1984, without ever having recovered consciousness. Meditating on the mystery of death she wrote in her diary, 'What shall I say about death? Fear, resignation, acceptance? One thing I know: it is not bad to bring it to mind from time to time. Thinking of it helps to re-evaluate things: my pride, my useless rushing around, wasting time, spoiling things and joys which you have given me. In a way I am humiliated by this but, at the same time, I am encouraged to avoid wasting every little moment of my life.' Sandra was ready for her meeting with the Lord and she had almost foreseen it. A few days before she died she had written in her diary, ' This life, evolving at a regular pace and gladdened by a calm day, not of my making, is not mine. There is nothing in this world which is yours. Sandra, realise this. Everything is a gift in relation to which the Giver can intervene when and how He likes. Take care of the gift given to you and make it more beautiful and whole for the time when the hour will come.' Her funeral was held on 4 May 1984 in the Church of San Girolamo. Sandra was buried in the ground, in accordance with her wishes, in the cemetery of S.Andrea in Casale. 21 years after her death, Sandra is still a spiritual point of reference and a role model for many young people, who either met her directly or have read her story. Her diary was first published locally, in 1985, and then by a national publisher (Diario di Sandra, edited by Father Oreste Benzi and published by Ed. Ancora, 2003). Her diary has become well known all over Italy, and is referred to in many letters and testimonies. After her death many people started to pray to and invoke her. Many young people owe to her their discovery of Christian values and service to the poor